That’s it, the last cd has played and there isn’t anymore. Of course, you know what I am going to do right? I am going to start over with the letter A and do it all over again, because that’s what I have always done, but for this music blog there is an ending and maybe a new beginning.
I started the music blog portion of my overall blog for a specific reason with a specific goal in mind. You see I am a writer. Whether you want to call me a struggling writer, or a failed writer or any other kind of writer that’s up to you. I wrote my first novel in my 20’s. I still have it unpublished. I co-wrote another, also unpublished. I wrote a novella that is a series and have started a second, and I have started a third. I started the great American novel or that’s what I call it and then grew intimidated by my own writing. I rarely think anything is good that I write, but that is my Mona Lisa. I am stuck on it. I started another book with the same results, The Bonding and I am stuck on it, and back in the perfect vision days I could bludgeon my way through blocks. I find it hard to do that, and harder still to write for more than an hour. I thought that since I was ending the letter Z that people might like a blog to go with the sharing of my music that I have done on facebook for the last ten years. I grew excited about the prospect and wrote three prequel postings to the music blog. I thought that I could grow my blog and attract some new readers and start a project that would have an ending. So with ZZ Top now posted the blog has ended. There were a few grumbles but the more I thought about it the more I was sure that ending the music blog was the right decision. That was the plan all along, to start a project and complete that project. I have completed that task. I have also decided to stop sharing music on facebook, because that process is time consuming, and I really need to spend my limited vision resources doing something more productive. I would really like to submit some of my work again so it can be rejected. Getting published is extremely difficult. Somehow that type of rejection hurts less.
I still don’t know what the music blog has taught me, what it actually means. I can break the blog into some easy numbers. If you take away the first three prequels, then I wrote the first blog entry for the music blog and posted on June 1, 2019. I wrote the last just a few days ago. From start to finish getting through the music in my collection took 23 months, almost 2 years of my life. In that time, I wrote 83 music blog postings. In that nearly 2 year period I played 3, 594 albums, all vinyl or cds and that included compilations of bands that I made. The average readership of the postings was 5. On average 5 people read the postings I made. The most widely read posting was titled Melsie, which will tickle my friend Melissa to no end since this was about her and the quirky timeless friendship we have. There were 22 of you who read that post. There were none who read my post on Evan Dando. There are 11 posts which had only a single reader. In effect when I felt like no one cared enough to read I had ample evidence to support my feeling.
I have grown used to rejection of my serious work, the work that was submitted to publishers even the times when clearly they took my offering from one envelope and placed it in the return envelope and sent it back as soon as they received the package without reading it at all. Some never came back at all. This rejection though was expected and I knew up front getting published is hard. The rejection I felt sometimes over my music blog was much more personal.
Why, you might ask? I decided early that anyone could give you details. Hey this band was formed in this location by these people and they recorded this many albums. I tried to do more than that. In fact, I gave you part of my soul with each writing. There were some entries so difficult that I felt drained afterwards. At times I had to weigh whether I really wanted to share what I was sharing and open myself up to ridicule or criticism. I shared anyway. I worked hard, harder than I should have because I am passionate and in love with all of this music, except for Zappa. That guy, yikes. I wanted to open your minds, introduce new sounds and emotions to you and impress upon you just how much the process meant to me. I failed. There is no other way to really look at it. I failed to capture your imagination your love. Sometimes you commented. Those lifted me. Sometimes you liked a post and made me smile, gave me hope. Other times it felt like any failure except that I would open myself up all over again.
I don’t know what it all meant. I struggle with that. I succeeded in that I met my goal of completing this project but really failed in every other aspect.
Where do I go from here?
The blog domain stays the same. There will be a new direction. I have something creative in mind, a serial story. I hope its easy writing and whether you read or not won’t matter quite as much. Don’t get me wrong, I still plan on giving this full attention in the moment and then I will move on. I will have more time to finish a short story I am working on and then maybe bludgeon my way through some of those other blocks.
For the last time (at least this version) Mike out