I see the journey the path I have taken like the wake of a great ship.

My son came to visit me Father’s day weekend. I have seen a lot of him lately, fills my heart up every time I see him. He is funny and has been through a lot in his nearly twenty years. I am still trying to determine how much he has learned from his experiences. As his dad I am straddling a line that allows him to make his own decisions as an adult but try to provide guidance where I can. Of his past, some of it I will share eventually and some I most certainly will not, nor will I answer a lot of questions about him. Anyway the Saturday before Father’s day he shows up and announces that he wants to buy me a dog. I have almost always had two dogs. I lost my black lab a year ago and since that time my doberman Sascha and I have been going at it together but for the last few months I have been thinking its time to get another dog.  Haus was amazing but it took me a long time to appreciate him. He was a lover not a fighter, didn’t like to play. My ex got him because she wanted a dog to follow her around the way my collie followed me except Haus just followed me and the collie. My son wanted to buy me a dog and decided that he had found the perfect dog, a ten moth old German Shepherd. It was free and when he showed me the add I read that the dog was VERY destructive and out of control. I asked Dylan my son if he had actually read the ad and of course he had not gotten past free. I asked him how much he had to spend and he said nothing he was hoping we could find a free one. He asked what kind of dog I waned and the answer was easy I wanted a male Labrador Retriever. Shockingly my son found one for cheap because the puppy had not had any shots I have fallen in puppy love with this ten week old lab. The vet says he is healthy. Puppies in general make you smile, but this one has completely captured my heart. He is a morning dog. He has been waking me up by chewing on my fingers, rolling on his back happy happy happy. Today I swam and when I got back and let him out of his kennel he just circled me doing the puppy hop and walking backwards tail wagging ninety to nothing.

My wife and I waited one month as the doctors suggested after losing Alex before getting pregnant again. I was scared to death. I could not see surviving losing another one but this pregnancy went more the way I expected. She did not get big quick like the first one, the amniocentesis went perfectly and as predicted she went on bed rest for pregnancy induced hypertension. I had changed jobs, and was now the medical social worker for the entire hospital an experience that turned me on to my own profession and I was working towards going to graduate school. The stress of bed rest played havoc on the marriage and it was like a roller coaster, one minute she was lovey dovey the next a demon spawned from hell.  As we got closer to the date her doctor began considering more and more of inducing early. By the time she got up showered and drove to the office her blood pressure was up and then it would go down as soon as she laid back down. Around thirty five weeks it wouldn’t go down and so she was sent to the hospital where she was monitored. I thought they were going to induce but they sent her home the next day. Two weeks later her doctor went out of town.

I told Celia that I thought another doctor would send her to the hospital to be induced and she said that her doctor had explained her case with the practice and it would not happen.  On her first visit the doctor who saw her told her it was ridiculous to continue to put herself in jeopardy and the baby too. The baby was so near full term he expected no problems. Celia called me crying and I left work to meet her at home and to gather her nine year old son who we could not leave alone. When we got to the hospital and she got settled in bed I remembered what a lousy patient Celia was. She immediately said that as soon as they took her blood pressure they would realize she was fine and send her home. They got around this by using the md visit blood pressure and so did not take her blood pressure. The doctor strolled in and did not say a word, he just reached his hand in and nicked her and then left. She started crying hysterically. I calmed hr and then she said he missed and then her water broke and she was crying again. I wondered if the hospital would support me if I suffocated her with a pillow.

The nurse came in and connected her to a monitor. She asked if there were any contractions and Celia said no. A little later they started Pitocin to induce but they had barely started when Celia had a big contraction. She was finally resolved that we were having a baby that day and they were not sending her home so I thought it would get better.  The second contraction  came some minutes later and then a third and then the nurse was back checking on her.  She asked Celia if she had had any more contractions and Celia said no.  The nurse said okay and started to leave so I said, nurse she has had three contractions by my count and I have no idea why she doesn’t want to tell you that. So the nurse checked the monitor and confirmed. She took it all in stride and I felt like tipping her. As tings moved along another doc showed up to start her epidural. A few minutes later Celia asked me if I thought it was normal for her to be numb up to her neck. I said she should probably ask the nurse. When the nurse came in Celia said everything was great, nope no problems at all she was happy and ready. Nurse starts to leave so I asked is she supposed to be numb up to her neck. The nurse did a yikes and lets get you propped up.  I looked around for something to throw. I asked Celia what the point of lying was and she looked at me all innocent like so I just stared her down and said no more, let’s be happy about this instead of making it the most stressful thing ever.

Around eight that night Dylan Alexander finally arrived. He was gorgeous, so perfect. He had some breathing transition problems and so spent four hours in NICU. I did the whole forever scrub and comforted him but his nurse assured me he would figure it out and of course he did. He was back in her room by the time I got home with my step son who had school the next day. I wondered what could go wrong.

One thought on “7/8/1996

  1. Simply wonderfully written as all of your blogs / books are. I agree with the doctor…write the book. Others are struggling and need to hear they are not alone in their despair or feeling of defeat. You are awesomely chosen for this and I have full confidence you can write this book and have tons of success with it.


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